Cub has a sale on eggs this week (due to Easter I would imagine). If you spend $25 on other items in the store you receive a dozen large eggs
FREE. Well I can hardly pass up
FREE. So yesterday I headed over to Cub to get my
FREE eggs. Stella was to host a potluck WNF that evening. One item I usually prepare for these type of occasions is deviled eggs. Perfect.
FREE eggs! So I went around and around the store trying to spend $25. I picked up some fixins for a salad. I'll bring that to WNF as well. I bought some mayo to make the deviled eggs. Then from there it got interesting. Hmmmm what to buy to jack up my purchase to $25 so I can get my
FREE eggs. I was finally at the point that I thought I had $25 worth of stuff in my basket. Now to get my
FREE eggs. I trotted over to the dairy isle (since when is a chicken egg a dairy product?). The shelves that house the large eggs are empty. I hunt around and can't find any large eggs. They have medium. They have extra large. They even have what they consider to be a jumbo egg. But no large. Oh well, I'll take extra large and try to slide those through at the checkout counter. No way Jose. They weren't going for that. They asked me if I talked to the guy in the dairy department to see if there were more
FREE large eggs. What guy in the dairy department? Have you ever seen a guy there? Me either. He must be behind the secret curtain or something. I said I don't know of any such guy. The gal running the checkout beside the counter I'm at says she'll go back there and find the guy in the dairy department (aka OZ) and get the correct
FREE eggs for me. How nice of her. So she ran off with my extra large eggs to retrieve some
FREE large eggs. Now I'm "that guy". The guy that you don't want to be behind in line because you're going no where fast. And sure enough there's a fellow behind me looking at me like I have committed some heinous crime by trying to slide the extra large eggs by as the
FREE large eggs. And as I’m standing there being “that guy” while the checkout clerk from next door is retrieving the correct
FREE eggs; I see that the fellow behind me has a dozen of the coveted
FREE large eggs. Hmmmmm. “Hey there Fella, I see you were able to locate the
FREE eggs”. “Yes ma’am. They were on a shelf up higher”. I’m thinking “well lah tee dah”. But instead of saying that I asked him if he’d give me his
FREE eggs and accept my
FREE eggs when checkout girl came back. He agreed (because he didn’t like me being “that guy”). So he gave me his
FREE eggs. The girl at my checkout counter did some scanning and subtracting and some such stuff so my eggs would be
FREE. Finally I’m on my way (with a bunch of groceries I didn’t really need but bought so I would be entitled to a dozen
FREE eggs. Once I’m at home I take a peek at my receipt to see how close I was to meeting my $25 obligation. $26.18. Pretty good huh? Hey wait a minute. What the hell. They gave me my FREE eggs (I see $1.55 rang in and then $1.55 rang out, clearly representing my
FREE eggs) but then right above those transactions is $1.59 rang in for the extra large eggs I initially tried to sneak by the checkout girl. The eggs that were taken back to OZ in the dairy department. Well kiss my grits. I went through all that and didn’t get anything free. As a matter of fact I paid four cents more then those stupid large
FREE eggs cost in the first place.
Then I went to boil the
NOT FREE eggs and two of them are broken (no kidding…I’m not making this up) and the broken eggs have acted as super glue. Now a half a dozen eggs of the remaining eggs won’t budge from their cardboard coffin. Understanding that pulling and twisting would be a further disaster I end up soaking the cardboard off the eggs. Much later I finally have deviled eggs and I'm off to WNF. So what do we do at WNF? Color Easter eggs. I didn’t even ask Stella how, when or where she got her eggs.